Simon was right, it was a bizarre night. I wasn’t impressed with Neil Diamond as a mentor, but maybe they didn’t show us much because of time constraints, who knows, and frankly I didn’t care. I was underwhelmed most of the night, and frankly there is not one performance that comes to mind that I recall as enjoyable, and the show has been over for only a few minutes. Another thing I found underwhelming was the format tonight. And Paula thinking that Jason had sang two songs when he had only sung one proves she is in her own orbit. ‘Nuff said.

Jason: What a freakin’ train wreck tonight. As he sang his first song Forever In Blue Jeans, I hid under the coffee table. That said, if the kid just pushed, he could knock us all off our seats. September Morning was just as bad for me in the sense it was just plain old boring.

Randy said, “Dude, check it out—so—It was just ok. That was just an okay performance.” I couldn’t agree more. Based on performances Jason should go home this week, and frankly, as much as I like the kid, I am very okay with that.
Paula said, “You need to get outside your comfort one.” It was the only intelligent thing she said all night.
Simon said, “You struggled through both songs. I think you’ll look back on this and wonder who this performer was.”

David Cook sang I’m Alive. I didn’t care for it—But I still mucho like David. It was nice to see him mix it up some more but it just wasn’t my thang, except the chorus. Then he sang, All I Really Need is You. Was the title of the song? Irrelevant actually because I liked this performance less then the first one. His mumbly slurring lyrics were getting on my nerves. However I loved the arrangement. Apparently I was in the minority with the judges, all three totally dug it. Whatev.

Brooke. Oh, my. Poor thing. I’m a Believer was as Simon said, “A nightmare.” Sigh, all I could think of as she crashed and burned was how awesome Micky Dolenz sounded singing this song. And then of course there was Shrek. The tempo was too fast, and well, it was bad. Then she sang I Am I Said. I love this song. And thankfully Brooke did a better job with this one then the first song. Hubby said it was lackluster. I thought it was nice.

Randy agreed, he said, “Nice job.”
Paula, blah blah blah
Simon said, “I really, really hated the first song. This is the Brooke I like. A million times better then the first song. Well done.” Whew. It may be enough to keep her in the running, but if she goes I won’t be upset. She doesn’t have the pipes to be the American Idol this year.

And along came David A. eye roll. He sang Sweet Caroline, another fave ND song of mine. I thought he butchered it. As I thought those thoughts I said, “Karin, don’t you think you’re being a little harsh because you can’t even stand to look at the kid anymore?” So I closed my eyes. Gave it another chance. Still hated it. Then he sang America, and while I liked it better, once again it did not stir the cockles of my heart. And apparently I’m an idiot because all three judges flipped over it. I think I need to guest judge next year. Let’s start a petition!

Last and certainly least (heh did you catch that?) Syesha. So she sang Hello Again, barefoot again. What’s up with that? Immediately I was bored. Then it occurred to me, perhaps I’m being too harsh, or maybe I’m expecting too much at this stage in the game. But shouldn’t I expect more? I mean we’re down to 5! So, I was bored and while her second song Thank The Lord For The Night Time (another fave of mine) was better, I still was not wowed by this girl. In fact I haven’t been at all this year. To me she just doesn’t have a distinctive enough voice for me to remember anything she has sung thus far.

Randy said about this performance, “Yo, you know what I love ? That was also in the zone. (yeah the dead zone!) This is the way I like you.” Barefoot?
Paula, blah
Simon said, “You are a very good action stroke singer. I think however, you may be in trouble tonight. I didn’t think you had a very unmemorable second song tonight.” And as usual, Simon was right.

My pick to go home this week is Jason. His time is up.

Thoughts?

K*

Frankly, I don’t like high places. I can’t look down. I’m also afraid of the ocean. I only go out far enough to get my feet wet, and only snorkel in three feet of water or less. But I’ll get on a sail boat any day and ride the ragged edge. Go figure. I’d get on one of those crab boats in Deadliest Catch too. I love the water. I just don’t like to get in the water. Hell, the pool in my backyard is gorgeous! I’ve swam in it maybe a dozen times total. The hot tub is a different story. I have other fears. I detest flying. HATE. IT! Every freakin’ time I get on an airplane I can see us going down and me not able to do a damn thing about it.

What scares me the most however is phone calls in the middle of the night. We’ve had a few over the years, all of them manageable, thank, God. This past Friday night my daughter and her fiancé, who are living with us, were out. Since I had to be up early the next morning (as in 5:45 a.m. early gah!) hubby and I went to bed early. By midnight we were asleep. At 1:42 a.m. the phone rings. Before the first ring had ended I was up in bed and two million thoughts had gone through my head. It was my daughter letting us know she and her guy were spending the night at her brother’s. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’m glad she called, really, I am, but damn if she didn’t terrify ten years off of me. They were home ninety minutes later and woke us up for the second time. Kids.

Okay so this isn’t about me, it’s about you. And writing, and why some of you don’t. Even though you say you want to, and do sort of, sometimes, but not regularly. Why? The fear of failure? Well, we all have to fail to succeed. The fear of fame? That you can manage. The fear of getting published then feeling as if the entire world is staring at you? Don’t get online, write. Afraid of bad reviews? They are a fact of life. We all get them. Deal with it. Fear of not being able to write a second book? You’ll never know until you try. After publication there are fears as well. Will my house keep me? What happens if my editor leaves? What happens if my new editor hates me? What happens if my agent dumps me? What happens if my sales tank? What happens if the muse deserts me? What happens if the trends change and no one wants to read what I write?

All very valid concerns, and most of them, completely out of our control. We can only control our work, our attitude, and our energy. And while all of those, What if’s can happen to a writer, and have happened to many of us at one point or another in our careers, all we can do is write forward. Worrying is energy wasted. I know, I know, easier said then done. It’s true. But sometimes we fear what we don’t understand. So I think the biggest step toward not worrying is to identify exactly what scares us, then unearth the reason behind it, and then plan for the worst case scenario of the fear coming to fruition, and then, the plan of attack after the fact. It’s a reality plan. So, as an example: if the trends change or my sales have consistently been in the toilette, I have two choices. Quit, or reinvent myself. Quitting is easy peasy. Reinventing oneself? Difficult. But not impossible. Movie stars do it all of the time, and so do writers. Dig deeper, expand your creativity, and writing horizons and produce something new and fresh. Then pick out a kick ass name.

I’m a firm believer in where there is a will there is a way, but damn if fear can’t screw it up along the way. I think the best way to deal with fear is being prepared to defeat what we are afraid of.

So, what are you afraid of, and what do you plan to do about it?
Share, share, share!

K*

Syesha and Carly in the bottom two, and Carly loses the coin toss. Surprises never cease. Not sorry to see her go, but shocked Brooke and Jason were not near the bottom, BUT happy they weren’t!

So next week is Neil Diamond. I think it will be a good show.

Thoughts?

K*

Okay so tonight was an Andrew Lloyd Weber night, and wow-wee was I impressed with this guy! In the immortal words of my husband, “As a mentor, he’s tits.” Okay, so it made sense when he said it. It dropped my future son-in-law to the floor in hysterics. It’s a line I will use someday. Frankly, Mr. Weber stole the show. One of the things he said that stuck with me was, “Everything I do is story driven.” His energy and love and passion for what he does was palpable. Bravo, Bravo, Bravo! I heart Andrew Lloyd Weber!

So let us begin with Miss Syesha: She looked hot and ready to do some damage with I Rock and Roll Tomorrow. She said, “Finally, something I can show my personality.” Scratching head here but when has she not been able to do that? It matters not because quite frankly for the first time, in my estimation, she did show her personality. I thought it was her best performance yet. Mostly because I wasn’t bored.

Randy said, “So this may surprise you, but your best performance to date. You could be a Broadway star.”
Paula agreed.
Simon said, “That was very sexy-I actually agree with Randy. You showed more of your personality tonight.”

Jason sang Memory and I want to forget it. What a train wreck. Sigh. I think he sealed his fate. I thought I was gonna die when he told the camera, “I didn’t know a cat was signing it.” What a goofball. Double sigh.

Randy said, “Wow.” And it wasn’t a good wow. “I thought it was a little bit of a train wreck.” No kidding, my words first.
Paula said, “I think it was a wise choice.” Gah, not!
Simon said, “Jason it felt to me and to you like the longest two minutes of our lives…You were miserable up there throughout, and I was miserable throughout.” Triple sigh. I agree.
Jason, honey, say your goodbyes now.

Brooke sang “You Must Love Me” from Evita. When she started over I froze. When she began anew she looked so nervous I seriously doubted she could finish, but somewhere in the very depths of her soul she reached down and pulled out what I thought was an emotional second half comeback. I swear as she belted out the words, “You must, love, me.” I said to the television, “I do love you, Brooke.” And I do. She was very brave tonight.
And she got my first vote of this season.

Randy said, “For me this wasn’t great. I liked though that you listened to ALW.”
Paula said, “You must never stop and start.” I disagreed. She forgot the damn words! Was she supposed to hum?
Simon was on very good behavior. He hearts Brooke. “It was so dramatic, it completely threw you. It became quite uncomfortable. I think you’re going to be disappointed.”
When the judges were asked if she should have stopped, Simon said, “I thought it was a very brave thing to do.” Rodger that.

David A. The kid annoys me. Hubby and future son-in-law were gagging. When he picked a song that ALW said, “Was for a diva and one he wrote for a girl,” I sat back and thought, hmmm. When he begun to sing, future son-in-law said, “He doesn’t have much of a personality.” I’m thinking that’s because his dad won’t let him have one. Some celebrity came out the other day and said the father was the worst stage dad she had ever seen. Poor kid. Aneee-way, as usual the performance was predictable and boring.

Randy totally digs this kid. I don’t get it. But he said, “It was the bomb! This is the boy to beat!” Maybe.
Paula said, “I thought it was perfect.” Of course you did.
Simon my man said, “I thought it was pleasant, one of the weakest performances, and it was forgettable to me.” Ditto that!

Carly sang Jesus Christ Superstar. She wasn’t gonna. Not until Mr. Weber said, “For goodness sakes, you have to go with a song that inhabits you.” Well said! I bet he’s phenomenal to work with, and at the end of each day you’d be exhausted. He certainly makes you dig deep for every single note. So overall, I liked the performance despite the little screechy parts. She really needs to work on that.

Randy said, “It’s no surprise to me the bigger voices are doing well tonight.” But then said, “I thought it was okay.”
Paula said? I wasn’t paying attention.
Simon said, “It got a little bit shouty in the middle. It was actually one of the best performances tonight.” Agreed.

David C sang Music of the Night. One of the most powerful love songs ever written and sang to perfection by Michael Crawford. I doubted David could match it. He didn’t come close but he did a good job. I also liked the way David looked tonight. Kudos to the stylist.

Randy said, “Dude that was an amazing performance!”
Paula said, “This song just proves more and more you are such and instrument.”
Simon said, “I much prefer the grittier you, but you made the most of it.” Agreed.

Overall, and despite the fact that Mr. Weber was tits tonight, the idols as a whole disappointed me. So, my pick to hit the road tomorrow night, based solely on performances tonight is Jason. His time is up.

Thoughts?

K*

Okay, I know what I’m about to tell you is going to shock you, but here’s a secret very few people know about me: There are people out there who don’t like me. Yep, I know, hard to believe, but it’s true! So, one of these people who really, really doesn’t like me, told another person who has some influence over someone I dearly love that, duh duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh, Gasp! I write PORN! Yes, PORN! Short for PORNOGRAPHY! Well, fortunately the person who was told I write porn has more than half of the brain that the person who doesn’t like me owns. She, very smart lady that she is, didn’t take finger pointing PORN caller’s word for it. She, God bless her (oops am I allowed to mention God in the same paragraph as my porn?) had to find out for herself what all of the PORN was about. So she googled me, found my site, was so intrigued she bought and read one of my books. Loved it! Naughty porn reader, you!

It gets better. As the person who I love dearly is hearing this story for the first time (from the naughty first time porn buyer) he laughs aloud. Very loud, because this person who I love dearly knows how much I love to write PORN but even more, how much I love it when perfect strangers get solid PORN tips from people out there who don’t like me then discover they love my PORN!

It gets better. So the person I love dearly gets off the phone and finds his eavesdropping coworkers are amused by this story they overhear and can’t wait, well you guessed it, to go out and buy some of my PORN themselves. When the P word is mentioned people stop and listen. So guess what? More people go buy my books and now, you guessed it again, they are now naughty PORN lovers too! Go figure!

So, y’all know what a karma girl I am, and while the original crazy person tried to do me one bad turn, in order to make herself look better, unfortunately for her it not only backfired, but the person I dearly love is now even more not into her. Moral of the story, karma is only good when used with the best intentions. Hey, I like that. Sometimes, for someone who writes PORN, I amaze myself.

Now, to all you peeps out there who haven’t read my PORN, do yourself a favor and go buy some!

Yours Truly,
K-Tab the Queen of Porn

Do you ever feel like you’re hitting the week running with your head down, and ready to stiff arm anyone who gets in your way? That’s how I’m feeling right now. I have a lot to do today. Phone crap. Business phone crap. I just want to drink coffee, get my walk in and write. But I do have a business that needs my attention, and so it will get it. I’ll get my walk in too, and before I go I’ll have lots of coffee, and when I come back and shower, I’ll make more coffee and write.

I’m over at Fog City Divas today chatting about couples. Mostly power couples and those awful couples who annoy us all. (can anyone say Tomcat?) Okay, I’ll stop being catty. heehee no pun intended. See? Whadi tell ya? I’m in the manic Monday mood.

What does everyone have planned for the week? Oh, and any RT tales? I really wish I had gone. Next year I think it’s in Orlando, and Karin will be there with bells on!

K*

I knew something was up when Seacrest put Brooke and Kristy with David Cook. So while I know Poppy is crying in her tea as I type, I can honestly say while I feel bad for Kristy, she was due. Past due. While you all know I heart Brooke, my heart grew even bigger for her when she set her jaw and said, “Hey!” to Simon when he said Kristy’s time had come. For such a little mouse of a girl she has a big protective heart. Oh, and didn’t Elliott make you tear up? Especially when I heard about his mom? Poor thing, she was his rock, his anchor, his biggest fan. She saw his star shine long before any of us did. Godspeed, Mrs. Yemin.

Okay, so I have pretty much depressed myself at the moment.

So next week the Idols sing Andrew Lloyd Weber songs. Hubby rolled his eyes. I’m rubbing my hands together. The man is a maniacal genius! Ok, well, he looks like one anyway. But he is a genius, just not maniacal. Maybe. Who knows.

I wanted to pass along a little tidbit. A couple of weeks ago the ladies over at Magical Musings and over at Writer Unboxed, talked about Blake Snyder’s book Save The Cat. I’m not a how to kind of girl. My eyes glaze over. I have always considered myself a very organic writer, and themes, the three acts, and the dark moments and like stuff have always come fairly naturally to me. BUT! Blake has opened my consciousness to a wondrous world. A word I knew existed but thought I would not be interested in. Boy was I wrong. Anyway, I bought the book, it arrived yesterday and I have had my nose stuck into it since.

I’m a log line girl and have always had one for most of my stories before I write, but the last few I haven’t. And I sort of struggled with the gist of the story. Hell, I had to write Master of Surrender twice! Anyhow, Snyder says the log line needs irony. So I thought, hmm what is the irony of Master of Torment? Light bulb moment. Assassin knight falls in love with his mark. Theme? Simple. Love conquers all. But in the case of Wulfson and Tarian, their love is a freakin’ battlefield until they get there. I’m sitting here grinning like an idiot. Why, oh, why does it take me so long to get past myself?

I’ll tell you why: I think I know everything, and I don’t. I have to remind myself of that huge fact daily. So, I am off to slam some love on the battlefield into words.

But first, let’s have some fun. For those of you who have a current wip or one you are about to begin, share your log line with us! I love reading them. Especially the ones when you read it, you get an instant feel for what the story is. So, pretty please, share.

K*

Okay, so Mariah Carey aka Mimi has never really done it for me. Until tonight, if you asked me to name a Mariah Carey song, I’d look at you with a blank stare. But I did recognize a few of them tonight (so I am not totally still living in the seventies). But before I go there, was it me or is Mimi one cold fish? Yikes! And it was exacerbated by how the idols reacted to her coolness. Hey, I understand the whole, I’m a living legend thing, but damn she was so not approachable. Sigh, I guess some people just have intimacy issues. Whatev.

So tonight, I’m wondering how the guys would pull out those girly songs. Surprise surprise, they out sang the goils all night.

The evening began with David A. I had no idea what he sang, but he sang it with gusto and it sounded like everything else he’s sung. Great if you like that. I was bored, but admittedly impressed with his vocals. He’s like reading literary stuff. Really well done, and boring as hell. No thanks. Give me commercial.

Randy said, “You can sing anything. That was the bomb.” Okay, if you say so.
Why bother with what Paula said? She said the same thing last week, last moth and last year and the year before that. Who cares?
Simon said, “I thought it was very, very good. You set the benchmark.” Yeah, for boring. No wait, Brooke gets that title tonight.

Carly sang a song I recognized, not because Mimi sang it but because Nielsen did. Can’t Live. I can live without Carly. Okay that said, I kind of liked her performance. But she didn’t quite hold those notes. I didn’t care for the way she cut them off. It sounded to me like she was chickening out.
Apparently the judges felt the same way.

Randy said, “It was pretty good.” Hmm kiss of death.
Paula made a comment I could use. She said, “You swelled and soared.” Kudos to, ya Paula baby for an original thought.
Simon as usual was not impressed with this girl. Do ya think he has a grudge against the Irish? Anyhoo, he said, “I really wanted to hear you sing this song. I don’t think you pulled it off. But I think you’re capable of it.”

Syesha sang…I don’t remember. I’m glad I took notes because if I hadn’t, I’d have sworn they forgot about her. ‘Nuff said.

Randy said, “So you always pick the toughest songs. You did a good job…all things considered.” Ouch.
Paula? Gah
Simon said, “Once again, technically very, very good” But he wasn’t impressed with the song choice.

Okay so is Brooke too cute or what? Hero is a song I did recognize. While her vocals were good, it just sounded to me as if she were singing the same thing over and over. And I could see toward the end there she was getting nervous. I think she knew.

Randy said, “Check it out. I thought it was pretty cool and was digging it until the bridge.”
Simon said, “I think it was a bit like ordering a hamburger but only getting the bun.” I totally got what he said, and resent Paula chastising him for his opinion. I’d really like to see her go next year. So, Brooke’s performance had not meat. Gotcha.

Kristy Lee sang…not sure, but call me amazed. I actually liked it. Her voice came through tonight. Yes there were a few bumpy notes, but overall I liked it. I still can’t believe she’s there and Michael isn’t.

Randy said, “You know? You definitely stepped up in the end.”
Simon said, “You didn’t give me chills. A little whiny at times. You were quite smart, it wasn’t great though.”

David C gave me goose bumps. But I was getting a wee bit annoyed with the mumblely stuff. But he is a true artist. No doubt about it.

Randy said, “Yo, I think more than anyone on the show you are ready to make an album.”
Simon said, “Original, daring. Stood out by a mile. Potential great artists take risks.”
Wow.

Jason. He is such a goof and every Tuesday night I can’t wait to hear him sing. So of course I’m totally biased. Go ahead, arrest me. Despite the fact Jason can do no wrong in Karin’s book, I thoroughly enjoyed his performance. His voice was soulful, sexy, real.

Randy must have had his head up his ass during Jason’s performance because he said, “For me I didn’t really love that. It was weird for me, like some distant music at a beach luau. I didn’t get it.” Pfft.
Ding dong Paula said, “I’d like to be at that luau.” She is forgiven for all of her previous ramblings of the night.
Simon said, “I have to agree with Paula. It was a cool version.”

So, Randy, go home.

I see Syesha going home. Or Kristy, or Carly or even Brooke. But dumb ass America will probably vote my boy Jason off. After last week anything is possible. I’m bracing myself.

Thoughts?

K*

So as most of you know I was under yet another nail-biter of a deadline. I think, no, I know, I thrive under pressure. I love pulling all-nighters. I know, crazy but true. Since I turned Naughty Santa in last week, lot’s more is going on, mostly catch up, and planning for the future as in promoing and spending money I really don’t have right now on stuff readers will probably toss in their nearest trashcan. Such is life. Maybe one day my name will be synonymous with the word coop. One can dream.

So I have the teaser done for Master of Torment. It’s going in the back of Master of Surrender. I must say after my editor beat me up a few times, I’m really very happy with it. Of course that’s now. Give me a month to start rethinking it all. I’m doing that now with Master of Surrender. Totally resembling a pile of simpering “I’m an imposter” humanoid mush. It’s very sad actually. So sad I have almost twice now skulked off in the middle of the night to buy a pack a cigarettes and chain smoke until my lungs are ready to explode. How pathetic is that? I’ll get over it of course, but mayhap not before the release of MofSurrender.

Oh, speaking of teasers, there is a small excerpt of Master of Surrender and Jaded up on the website. The Master of Torment one will go up soon. Oh, and check out the Quickie link, my gf, LaDonna Paulette, has a recipe y’all might be interested in.

That’s it for now. I need to go write. I’m doing a BIAW. Muwhahahaha!

Ciao, chicas,

K*

I am speechless, dumbfounded and in compete and utter shock.

I cannot believe America voted for Syesha and Carly over Michael!

OMG! What the hell? I am so pissed right now. Freakin’ Kristy Lee over Michael?
Syesha over Michael? My, god!

I can’t type I’m so pissed.

K*